Top Ten Signs You're Going Through O.J. Simpson Trial Withdrawal


October 1995



10.

When your husband asks you to pass the ketchup, you start screaming "Objection!"

9.

During a week-long vacation in Bermuda, you never take off the knit cap

8.

You pay thousands of dollars to have your cat's DNA tested

7.

After ordering a Big Mac, you present a ten-hour closing argument

6.

You won't get into bed unless your wife puts on the fake Ito beard

5.

You start watching C-SPAN -- just to hear people lying again

4.

Whenever you see a Japanese guy on the street, you go up to him and request a sidebar

3.

You drop sixty bucks to watch Kato Kaelin take a pay-per-view nap

2.

You go to the supermarket, sit down in front of a carton of O.J., and stare

1.

You're having conjugal visits with yourself


Next


Home