10. |
“American Porn Star” - hosted by Porn star Sindee Coxx and include judges Ron Jeremy, Buck Naked, and Wendy Whoppers. Along the lines of American Idol in which contestants would perform sexual acts on each other with the grand prize of a one year contract to star in a XXX feature. |
9. |
“Teen Party” - Hosted by R & B singer, R. Kelly. Each week Kelly would host a party at his crib with 20 thirteen and fourteen aged girls. Kelly will have such activites as pillow fights, baby oil Twister, and instruct the girls on how to urinate on their partners. Michael Jackson and Pee Wee Herman would be among the celebrity guests. |
8. |
“Accountants” – Just like the Fox show “Cops” this show will focus on Certified Public Accountants and the exciting job they have preparing Income Statements, Balance Sheets and filing a 1040. The show was test marketed in Washington and the whole audience fell asleep 5 minutes into the show. |
7. |
“Decorating Tips with Rosie” - The largest lesbian alive tried to make a comeback to TV with a show similar to Martha Stewart's show with decorating tips for your home aimed at the lesbian community. Such topics included tips on how to turn those empty tuna cans into candle holders and what to do with all those extra used D sized batteries laying around your home. |
6. |
“The Misadventures of Six Pack Sally” - Sally, played by Tara Reid (American Pie, Josie and the Pussycats) is the nice girl in town. But buy her a six-pack of any domestic brew and you have won yourself a night you will never forget. |
5. |
“Crimefighter O.J”. - Football legend, O.J. Simpson, returns to the public eye with this new crime drama as Simpson is a private detective hell bent on solving grisly murders that surprisingly he never solves. David Faustino (Bud Bundy of Married with Children) also stars as his sidekick. |
4. |
"The Bonnie Hunt Show" - Wait a minute ABC did pick this one up last year. |
3. |
“Dumbass” – People do the dumbest things as this new reality show that features some if the dumbest people in the world. Including a man who cut off his penis and made soup out of it. Legendary dumbass, Geraldo Rivera, who was giving out directions on TV to where Allied forces were going in the Iraq invasion was to be the host. |
2. |
“How to lose a guy in 6 Days” – Remake of the box office smash movie starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey. Only in the television version it stars Christopher Lowell (Interior Motives) in the Kate Hudson role as an overly obnoxious gay decorator and minor disasters that follow him on the dating circuit. |
1. |
“An Osama Christmas” – Holiday special featuring the head of Al Qaeda terrorist group who hosts a Christmas party from his cave in the Afghanistan Mountains. Included will be holiday tips on how to shoot down that Big Red Infidel Santa Claus, a Christmas sing-a-long with Osama, Saddam, and the Dixie Chicks and a special reading of “Twas the Night before Christmas” by Osama. |