Random Thought #1 – Wow dudes I can’t believe Halloween is almost here it was always my favorite time of the year with the dressing up, candy corn, pumpkins, witches (my sister Marci), and my all-time favorite thing, the haunted houses. Boy I remember working a haunted house one year when I was like 15 and being all horned up at that age. Working the haunted house and dressing up as some scary dude was so cool cause I could run up on hot babes, scare them, and then cop a free fill and nobody would even know. It was a much simpler time back then, now it’s assault. Personally I don’t understand why it’s so wrong to rub your genitals on a hot babe, but that’s just me.

Random Thought #2 – One thing I love to do around this time of the year is make a big jug of juice, grab some candy corn, and watch scary movies all night. I just bought the new George Romero zombie movie “Land of the Dead” which I can’t wait to watch it. In the meantime here are my top 10 favorite horror movies of all-time.

Stan’s Top Scary Movies to watch at Halloween that don't involve Rosie O'Donnell

10. Dawn of the Dead – The original George Romero’s second zombie flick that gave me nightmares when my moms took me to see when I was 11 years old. This classic is set mainly in a shopping mall where 4 survivors clear out the zombies and make a nice place to hang until some dumbass jag-offs ruin it. The remake is also one of the better classic horror movie remakes.

9. The Exorcist III: Legion - Very Underrated movie with George C. Scott (Dude played Patton) in which a serial killer known as the Zodiac Killer is executed the same night that Regan has Satan exorcised from her body and now occupies the body of Father Karras who is found in a mental asylum 20 years later. It’s pretty freaky and has some pretty scary-cool moments. Samuel L. Jackson also has a very small part in the movie, see if you can spot him and Fabio plays an angel.

8. Nightmare on Elm Street – The original Elm Street was a very good movie before the Freddy Krueger movies got completely laughable and cheesy. This movie also introduces us to the great Johnny Depp who own demise is pretty bad ass.

7. Carrie – One of the better adaptations of a Stephen King book to film stars Sissy Spacek as Carrie White a chick with telekinetic powers who justs get pushed a little far by her classmates. Very disturbing shower scene and also John “Vinnie Barbarino” Travolta has a small part in the movie.

6. Alien – Well you get to see Sigourney Weaver’s butt so that may do it for some people but a very intense outer space horror flick where an alien feasts on the crew of a space station to go along with some great special effects.

5. The Thing – A John Carpenter film starring Kurt Russell in which scientists in the Antarctic are being killed and aliens assumes the appearance of the people that it kills. Best line of the film when the alien takes the place of one of the scientists and they light the body on fire the head of the scientist falls to the floor and grows legs like a spider and runs away and when one of the other dudes sees it says in a very non discreet way “ You have to be f*cking kidding me”

4. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre – Based loosely on a true story of 5 teens who travel to one of the teens grandparents graveyard because of vandals desecrating their graves. They pick up a hitchhiker where they are led to a family of cannibals and Leatherface.

3. Night of the Living Dead – The George Romero classic was groundbreaking for horror movies and set the standard of horror movies for the future. Though it may not be so scary and disturbing as it was when it came out the line “Barbara their coming to get you” is classic. I think what makes this movie perfect is the ending.

2. Halloween - The story is about Michael Myers who escapes from a mental institution and goes on a killing spree in his hometown. – I think the scene where the young Michael Myers puts on a Halloween mask and stabs his sister to death is definitely one of the more disturbing scenes in a horror movie. Jamie Lee Curtis stars as his sister and Donald Pleasance as his psychiatrist.

1. The Exorcist – Based on the William Peter Blatty novel about a young girl played by Linda Blair that is possessed by the Devil. The film is a physiological thriller that has, in my opinion, never been matched. The effects may seem a little silly compared to today’s special effects, but any movie that would make people puke in the aisles at the movie theater and disturb so many people has got to be the best horror film ever.

Like a little comedy with your horror? Check out the vampire movie “The Lost Boys” with Kiefer Sutherland and Jason Patric, The original “ An American Werewolf in London” with David Naughton and the best comedy/horror movie I have seen in years “Shaun of the Dead” which was brilliantly done as a spoof of the George Romero zombie flicks.

Random Thought #3 - I’d really like to bite Mariah Carey on the ass.

Random Thought #4 – How about all these female teachers having sex with their students? Man where the hell were they when I was in school. I can’t even remember having a hot teacher, I mean I remember Miss Guzzo who when you walked into her room it stank like something I still haven’t witnessed till this day. Guzzo probably weighed 250 pounds had the biggest set of jugs I ever saw and she would sweat like son of a bitch. The thing that always got me and still disturbs me is that her nipples were always poking through her shirt. Dude it could be a wool sweater and those thing would poke through. I bet you could have cut through glass with those nipples.

Random Thought #5 – Congrats to Vince Vaughn for getting Jennifer Aniston, it’s refreshing to see tall, semi-unattractive dudes get a hot chick. Of course though no one is as lucky as me to have my wife Shelly after 6 kids (see pic below) she looks just like the day I met her.

Dude, I know she got a bag of candy corn hidden under one of her rolls of fat.

Random Thought #6 – How in the hell do all those dead bugs get into light fixtures?

Random Thought #7 – Did you hear that Sylvester Stallone is making another Rocky movie? Which would be number 6 of the Rocky films Rumors so far are that Adrienne (Talia Shire) will have died and not be in the movie, and that Mr. T (I pity the fool) will also be in the movie reprising his role as Chubber Lang. Now I have to be a little skeptical on this movie, Sly hasn’t had much success in the last 10 years or so but after the stick bombs that were Rocky 4 and 5 can he pull off a great movie like the first Rocky. I doubt it very much. I think he should bring back Brigette Neilsen from Rocky 4 and whom he ended up marrying and Rocky should fight Flavor Flav her new boyfriend from Public Enemy and the Surreal Life.

Well I'm off to get a can of rub and watch George Romero's new zombie flick "Land of the Dead" until next time, Word.