Hey my Homeskillet’s what is going on? I’m Stan Dombrowski and I want to take the opportunity to thank my good buddy, David Lee, who runs the site to let me have my own column. First though let me tell you a little bit about myself. I hail from the mean streets of Ford City, Pennsylvania and am pretty much a walking, talking, cartoon. I am 6’ 6” in my late 30’s and still think fart jokes and toilet humor RULE!!! I actually am a History teacher at a High School in Pennsylvania and pretty much get abused by my kids day after day. A lot of people think I look just like Ivan Drago from Rocky IV, you know the big Russian dude that Rocky came back and beat and then whack job brother-in-law of Rocky's blew all his money and ended up going broke and that setup Rocky V which was totally lame. But Anyways here are some of my random thought the last few weeks.

Random Thought #1 – It’s hard to believe that a disaster like hurricane Katrina could become such issue about racism, who the hell is Kanye West anyway? Sounds like a girls name to me. Did she have a hit song or something of relevance that I need to know about? If the government issues a mandatory evacuation of an area, doesn’t that mean to get the hell out? If you stay, which honestly is something I would probably do, then you have to deal the best you can with the circumstances if you stay. Below are some things that G.W. does not like...

Big words he cannot pronounce

Male singers with female sounding names like Kanye.

When Vice-President Dick Cheney hides his pacemaker in GW’s desk and crank call’s him saying “There’s a bomb in your desk, there’s a bomb in your desk”

When Bill Clinton comes over the White House and wants to go poon huntin’.

Eminem’s latest album, it just wasn’t street enough for GW.

That he wasn’t asked to appear on the reality show “Dancing with the Stars”

The fact that he still doesn’t have Osama’s decapitated head on a stick in his office.

Random Thought #2 – Now that football season is about to start does anyone really care about Major League Baseball, or is that a Pittsburgh thing cause the Pirates have sucked since the early 90’s?

Sorry dudes, I just like to gross people out with Rosie O'Donnell pics.

Random Thought #3 - Word, there should be a law that mini-vans full of kids should not be allowed to go through a drive through line at fast food restaurants. Dude I just want a double cheeseburger and a vanilla shake and I’m waiting in line for 30 minutes cause some lady with 6 little brats in the car can’t decide what they want in their happy meal.

Random Thought #4 – I heard Jenny McCarthy is getting divorced; maybe I will give her a call and see if I can get into “that”. We both like to bust ass and burp, why not?

How can I not score with a women who posed on the shitter.

Random Thought #5 – Why the hell does Adam Carola keep getting TV shows? He is such a douche.

Random Thought #6 – I'm really going to miss Howard Stern in the mornings.

Random Thought #7 – Mark you calendars, Star Wars Episode 3, Return of the Sith comes out on DVD November 1st. Word Up Homeskillet Star Wars geeks.

Random Thought #8 – I like big titties.

Well I'm off G, I have to check some tests that I gave the little goobers on the Revolutionary War, some little knucklehead answered that Thomas Jefferson is a tailback for the Chicago Bears. Talk to you soon.