Hey my Homeskillet’s what is going on? I’m Stan Dombrowski and I want to take the opportunity to thank my good buddy, David Lee, who runs the site to let me have my own column. First though let me tell you a little bit about myself. I hail from the mean streets of Ford City, Pennsylvania and am pretty much a walking, talking, cartoon. I am 6’ 6” in my late 30’s and still think fart jokes and toilet humor RULE!!! I actually am a History teacher at a High School in Pennsylvania and pretty much get abused by my kids day after day. A lot of people think I look just like Ivan Drago from Rocky IV, you know the big Russian dude that Rocky came back and beat and then whack job brother-in-law of Rocky's blew all his money and ended up going broke and that setup Rocky V which was totally lame. But Anyways here are some of my random thought the last few weeks.

Random Thought #1 – Went to Disneyworld for a family vacation a few weeks ago, first off, never go during the peak season. It is so crowded and hot that you really have a tough time trying to enjoy yourself. Here are some observations I made about the so called Wonderful World of Disney.

- Does anyone speak freakin’ English down here?

- If Disney is the “Happiest Place on Earth” then why the hell is everybody so freakin’ miserable and all I hear is screaming kids over the backdrop of people talking in Spanish gibberish.

- Why does Donald Duck where a shirt but no pants? That question will haunt me until the day I die.

- I think the song “It’s a Small World” has satanic masking in the recording because I can not get that damn song out of my head but I’m more confident about my penis size than I used to be.

- Who would kick who's ass in a fight between the chipmunks Chip and Dale? My money is on Dale cause come on what kind of masculine name is Chip?

- I paid $60.00 to see a Zebra and some birds at this Animal Kingdom park. WTF? I see more wildlife staring out the window at my home.

- Why are oriental people in such a freakin’ hurry?

- (while waiting in line for over an hour to ride Space Mountain) I rather be sticking pins in my eyes right now.

- I took a massive dump and clogged the shitter in the condo.

Here are some pictures from my trip to Disney:

On the Tea Cups

Here I am in front of Cinderella's castle. Man do I have some mans breasts or what?

Random Thought #2 – Why do they call it a blow job when it reality there really isn’t any blowing involved? Shouldn’t it be called a suck job?

Random Thought #3 - Man is there a lot of porn on the internet.

Remember when you had to get the Sears catalog in the mail and you would turn to the ladies underwear section, or in my brother Pete's case the men's underwear section, to get a glimpse of a boobie or in some cases you may get to see a picture of a girls bum crack? And man if you or one of your friends found one of their dads Playboy magazines, dude your were in the treehouse all day checking it out with a chubber that was out of control.

Man I’ll never forget the day I came home from school and Mother found my stash of skin books and burned them in the back yard. I can even remember sifting through the ashes and picking out burned up pictures of what was left of naked women.

Now anything goes, you don’t even have to be looking for a boobie doing a search on the internet and pictures will pop up of something to do with sex. I was looking for a picture of the 3 little pigs and I got a website full of porn. As my Uncle Larr would say, It’s a sick world and I’m a happy man.

Random Thought #4 – I recently joined a gym to get my fat ass back in shape. I enjoy it tons dude, but what’s the deal with all the old guys walking around naked in the locker room? I mean these old dudes come up and start a conversation with their peckers flailing around like nightcrawlers dangling on a fishing hook. You try not to look but its like when you see women's cleavage you have to take a peek but dude this is not a pretty sight to take a gander at. You think to yourself “Holy crap what happened to the damn thing? Hey Old dudes, if you want to start a conversation with me about your golf swing or who is the hotter Daisy Duke, Jessica Simpson or Catherine Bach, just put a towel on for the love of God. It's like Ebenezer Scrooge seeing his Christmas future and it scares the hell out of me that is the fate of my "little buddy".

Random Thought #5 – What ever happened to Dana Carvey? You know Garth from Wayne's World, Wayne's World, Party Time, Excellant.

Random Thought #6 – Glad to see the NHL has settled their lockout and will be back on the ice this fall. I am really glad to see the new rule changes to open up the game and especially to see that they have instituted the shoot out so games do not end up in a tie. If you are from the Pittsburgh area you also have to be pumped to get Sidney Crosby who us “hockey dudes” have been hearing about since he was 13. Hockey is probably the greatest sport to watch live in person and the Stanley Cup playoffs are like a rite of spring for me with the intensity level raised. I did really miss it this past spring, but if the game comes back better economically and a better product is put on the ice it should regain the casual fans and be all in all a better in the long run for not only the league and players but the fans as well and it was worth the sacrifice of the season. If the product is still as bad as it has been the last few years then R.I.P.

Random Thought #7 – MTV Sucks.

Random Thought #8 – Oh by the way Catherine Bach will always be hotter Daisy Duke to me, I think she gave me my first chubber as a young lad.

Catherine Bach as Daisy Duke

Well I’m going to go put on my Public Enemy pajama bottoms, fix me up a jug, and plop my butt down on the couch and watch some of the Bass Masters classic on ESPN. Until next time keep it real brother.