Hey my Homeskillet’s what is going on, I’m Stan Dombrowski and I want to take the opportunity to thank my good buddy, David Lee, who runs the site to let me have my own column. First though let me tell you a little bit about myself. I hail from the mean streets of Ford City, Pennsylvania and am pretty much a walking, talking, cartoon. I am 6’ 6” in my late 30’s and still think fart jokes and toilet humor RULE!!! I actually am a History teacher at a High School in Pennsylvania and pretty much get abused by my kids day after day. A lot of people think I look just like Ivan Drago from Rocky IV, you know the big Russian dude that Rocky came back and beat and then the Russians started cheering for Rocky cause he had the heart of a lion. Boy Rocky I and II are classics but Stallone really went to the well to much and the last 3 Rocky’s were terrible. That is a definite Word Up Brotha, which brings us to my first Random Thought.

Random Thought #1 - Speaking of Stallone who sadly is pretty much a walking, talking mental patient, one too many shots to the nuggin’ I guess. Or maybe it’s the thought of seeing his ex-wife, Brigette Nielsen with Flavor Flav. Talk about a very odd couple a huge, and dude I mean huge, woman with those big fake breastasis and Flav probably weighing a buck and a quarter with his clock on. Hey they got their own show out of it even though I don’t think my boy Chuck Dee and Public Enemy seem to be thrilled about the hookup and the TV show Flav and that monster with huge boobs had been doing for VH1.

There seems to be a lot of Hollywood Odd Couples lately…Heidi Klum and Seal, a hot model and a singer who is pretty scary looking even though I do like to juke around my room in my boxers listening to “ A Kiss from a Rose”, from the Batman soundtrack a few years back.

Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz (really any woman would fit here) – Some chicks must really dig fruity looking guys, how do you think I hooked up with my wife, but unlike me, Justin has some cash and all I do is talk about the Civil War to a bunch of ungrateful bunch of kids. So it's all about status anyway.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes – Some people say this is a Hollywood set up with a top box-office actor who is rumored to be gay and an actress who claims to be a virgin. I don’t know, Cruise has become such a Whackjob over the last few years( Did ya see the nutjob on Oprah?) with his Scientology or whatever cult he is in. What happened to that cool dude who played Stefan Goergeovich in “All the Right Moves”? "We didn’t quit, you Quit!!!” Now he's completely nuts go figure.

Random Thought #2 – Read the attached headline that appeared on MSN - WASHINGTON - Federal health officials are examining rare reports of blindness among some men using the impotence drugs Viagra and Cialis, a disclosure that comes at a time when the drug industry can ill afford negative publicity about another class of blockbuster medicines. Word Up, So besides the occasional 4 hour Woodrow that you could have you now can actually go blind using these erectile dysfunction drugs. Mother always told me that because I liked to occasionally “touch myself” I could go blind now that I take these drugs ( Dude, I have too. Have you seen my wife? Having 6 kids has not been a kind thing.) I think if you would have a woody for 4 hours that would cause anyone to go blind from all the blood rushing to one part of your body and you would pass out.

Random Thought #3 – How does a blind dude know if he is finished wiping after he took a dump? Dude, I mean I have perfect vision and I still end up with the occasional tire track in by boxers.

Random Thought #4 – Imagine that you are sitting by yourself at a lake fishing, there is no one in sight and all of a sudden Michael Jackson came out of the woods in his pajama’s would you think that you have just saw an alien from another planet and run like a mutha? I know I would. I mean look at this dude, he was actually a good looking dude back in the "Thriller" days but what the hell is he now? Half man half woman, half black half white, a nose that looks as though it was made with silly putty, and hands the size of Andre the Giant. I heard Michael's penis is striped like a barber's pool. Half black half white sort of like a chocolate/vanilla softie ice cream cone.

Random Thought #5 – Boy has that Home Alone dude, Macaulay Culkin , turned out to be a little whacky himself? I Wonder Why?

Random Thought #6 – Dude, I went to see Star Wars, Episode III Revenge of the Sith, the other day and let me tell you it was great!!! George Lucas did a hell of a job linking up the prequels to the original Star Wars, which is now known as Episode IV, "A New Hope". Some of the things I loved the light sabre battle between Obi-Wan and Anakin Skywalker at the end, with Obi-Wan getting the best of Anakin. Also the Yoda/Emperor battle was great and Jimmy Smits is the man. Lots of limbs being cut off by light sabers which is always a cool thing. I believe 4 arms or hands, 2 legs, and 3 heads ( don’t forget Yoda decapitating the 2 Clone Troopers on the Wookie planet). Even though they did not show any graphic images The “Younglings” being cut down by Anakin it was kind of disturbing, but then again you needed to show how Darth Vader became so freakin’ evil. The only things I was a little disappointed in was I thought we would see more of the Wookie planet and how they came about. I am guessing that most of them were killed off by the Clone Troopers. The other thing I didn’t understand was General Grievous. Who or what the hell was he and why did he cough like an old dude. If any Star Wars “fanatic” can fill me in I’d appreciate it. Nano, Nano, May the Force be with You.

General Whats Up with the coughing and hacking dude?

Random Thought #7 – Does a dude weigh more when he has a chubber? You would figure since muscle weighs more than you know just fat.

Random Thought #8 – Boy does that Jessica Simpson have one hell of a set of Jugs or what? I could diddle those all day, Word Up!!!

I wanted to wish my brother Paul and his wife Judi (see pic below) a Happy 10th Wedding Anniversary. Take a hit of the cheeba for me you Grateful Dead lovin’ hippie.

Well I bought the Kirstie Alley show "Big Fat Actress" on DVD so it's time to get my fixen's to make a jug and sit on the couch and relax. Until next time, Word Up!