Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Jeff Spicoli:

(As Spicoli is entering class on the first day of school)  This is U.S. History, I see the globe right there.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Mike Damone:

I can see it all now, this is gonna be just like last summer. You fell in love with that girl at the Fotomat, you bought forty dollars worth of fuckin' film, and you never even talked to her. You don't even own a camera.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Mr Hand:

(To his class after scoring poorly on a test)

What are you, people, on dope?

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Jeff Spicoli:

(Talking on the phone to his “Stoner Bud” and banging a shoe on his head)

That was my skull! I'm so wasted!

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Mr Hand:

(After Spicoli had a pizza delivered to class)

Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?

Jeff Spicoli:

Learning about Cuba, and having some food.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Jeff Spicoli:

(To Mr. Hand who came to Spicoli’s home to tutor him)

So what Jefferson was saying was "Hey! You know, we left this England place because it was bogus. So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus too." Yeah?

Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

Gilbert:

She's not that kind of girl, Booger.

Booger:

Why? Does she have a penis?

Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

Lewis:

Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex.

Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

Takashi:

Excuse please, but why do they call you "booger"?

Booger:

[picking his nose] I don't know.

There’s Something About Mary (1998)

Warren:

Have you seen my baseball?

There’s Something About Mary (1998)

Pat Healy (Matt Dillon):

(Spying on Mary)

Husband... negative. Children and a Labrador... negative. Tight little package... affirmative.

There’s Something About Mary (1998)

Pat Healy:

What the hell is Brett Farve doing here:

Brett Farve:

I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumb ass.

There’s Something About Mary (1998)

Mary’s Stepfather:

(When Ted gets his genitals stuck in the zippers)

Is it the frank or the beans?

Ted:

I don't know, both I guess

Warren:

[from outside] Franks and Beans! Franks and Beans!

Mary’s Stepfather:

Oh man! How'd you get the beans above the frank?

There’s Something About Mary (1998)

Hitchhiker (Harlan Williams):

You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?

Ted:

Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video

Hitchhiker:

Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7... Minute... Abs.

Ted:

Right. Yes. OK, alright. I see where you're going.

Hitchhiker:

Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin' there, there's 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?  

Ted:

I would go for the 7.

Hitchhiker:

Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.

Ted:

You guarantee it? That's - how do you do that?

Hitchhiker:

If you're not happy with the first 7 minutes, we're gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".

Ted:

That's right. That's - that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?

Hitchhiker:

(Hitchhiker convulses)
No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.

Ted:

That’s - good point.

Hitchhiker:

7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.

Ted:

Why?

Hitchhiker:

'Cause you're fuckin' fired!

Weird Science (1984)

Wyatt:

You know Gary, for the first time in my life; I don't feel like a total dick.

Weird Science (1984)

Lisa:

So, what would you little maniacs like to do first?

Weird Science (1984)

Lisa:

(As Wyatt almost wrecks the car they are driving in)

Are you Okay?

Garry:

Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect!

Weird Science (1984)

Chet (Bill Paxton):

I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad everything. I'm even considering makin' up some shit!"

Weird Science (1984)

Wyatt:

(As mutant bikers enter their house and they are hiding in a closet)

Garry, don't you feel like a chicken?

Garry:

Wyatt, if I could shoot an egg out my ass right now, I would! Look we can deal with shame, death is a much deeper issue.

Weird Science (1984)

Chet:

You two donkey-dicks couldn't get laid in a morgue.

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

Ian Faith:

Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

Marty Dibergi (Rob Reiner):

It's very pretty

Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest):

Yeah, I've been fooling around with it for a few months.

Marty Dibergi:

It's a bit of a departure from what you normally play.

Nigel Tufnel :

It's part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy I'm working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.

Marty Dibergi:

It's very nice.

Nigel Tufnel :

You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...

Marty Dibergi:

What do you call this?

Nigel Tufnel :

Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump".

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

David St. Hubbins (Michael Mckean):

It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever.

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

Marty Dibergi (Rob Reiner):

"This pretentious ponderous collection of religious rock psalms is enough to prompt the question, 'What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?'"

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

David St. Hubbins (Michael Mckean):

Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

Nigel Tufnel :

The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...

Marty Dibergi:

Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?

Nigel Tufnel :

Exactly.

Marty Dibergi:

Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?

Nigel Tufnel :

Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?

Marty Dibergi:

I don't know.

Nigel Tufnel :

Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?

Marty Dibergi:

Put it up to eleven?

Nigel Tufnel :

Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

Marty Dibergi:

Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?

Nigel Tufnel :

(pause)] These go to eleven

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

Nigel Tufnel :

We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.